to: Nana Abu
2:46 am VIEW DETAILS
I had forgotten what you sounded like
How you would enunciate your syllables and make each audience your own
I had forgotten your dry humor and your easy smile
And how the corners of your eyes would crinkle behind your frames when you laughed
I had forgotten how your eyebrows would upturn in concentration
And how your glasses would reflect your Uno cards
So you’d take them off, unless you wanted to see me win
You always did.
I never thought it would all come back through a YouTube video with 55 views
I never thought I would hold the feeling of your life again
But here we are.
I clutch onto these sixteen minutes and four seconds of conference footage
South Asian sustainable energy has never been so desolating
This staticky mic input is the last time I’ll ever hear you speak
My WiFi dies as abruptly as you did
This email is never sent, reminiscent of all those sentiments I left unsaid
Cruel, this déjà vu
The feeling of you rushed back
But you never do.
I love you.